Jamie’s Brain

This was like my favorite thing ever when I was a kid. I used to dance to it.

I’m a planner by nature- in both my personal and professional life. So it shouldn’t come as a surprise that- at the ripe old age of 27- I’m already reading a book to help psychologically prepare me for turning 30. And, as everything in life seems to be for me, it’s been both a blessing and a curse.

The May Queen is a collection of short stories by women- mostly authors- who have experiences to share about turning 30. They are all inspirational, thought-provoking, and emotional. Obviously they focus on the Bermuda Triangle of career, marriage, and babies.

Why is it that even those of us who pride ourselves on being non-traditional still get swept up in the ideals and expectations of turning 30? Didn’t Aaliyah tell us that Age Ain’t Nothing but a Number? It’s just that, for some reason, 29 years and 364 days into our life is like the night before the exam. It’s the morning the fridge is empty and we’re forces to go to the grocery store. It’s the time, as is well described by many of the women, the moment we stop thinking/planning/being afraid and start doing/doing/not being afraid.

I think the one unifying thread that weaves between this collection of short stories is clarity. Not all will blatantly say they’ve found happiness and contentment in their 30’s, though many have. But all seem to have gotten found clarity in their lives- perspective that is only found through experience, and age.

And with the way things are going, a little clarity in life is enough to help me make it to 30.

It may sound odd to say my first entry back into the world of jamiesbrain.com came full circle while watching the 2007 MTV Movie Awards. In full swing of the quarter life crisis, this little TV show was the icing on the cake.

In 1993, I taped the MTV Movie Awards. Like on a VHS tape. I watched it probably 10 times in total, throughout the year, until the next one. I didn’t tape it because I was out- I couldn’t program the VCR, it was like rocket science, remember? I watched it live, and rewatched it, commercials and all, because it epitomized cool to me. The clothes, the jokes, the music…the people. It was all real (as real as it could be) and aspirational. It didn’t try hard. The actors and singers were new and fresh. And everyone talked about it the next day.

I just finished watching the 2007 MTV Movie Awards. It could have been Fraggle Rock with all of the puppet action going on there. They’ve given up. 1950’s sponsorship blabber invaded the show like aliens trying to brainwash us. The air of ‘we are going to show we are cool by pushing consumer-generated content’ was enough to stifle the crowd. And an award for a movie that’s not even out yet? That’s just pathetic. Now the actors are either too young to fawn over, or old enough to make me sad (Jack Nicholson could barely talk? The Fresh Prince’s kid won an award?). The only real moment of the night was bittersweet: Sarah Silverman’s Paris Hilton jokes with the constant panning to her sitting in the audience. It was like watching someone get picked on in high school with a bigger audience and more money.

So what does this have to do with me? It’s about representation. If the 13 year old me looked to MTV as the representation of cool, what does it represent now? It’s me trying to hold on to my youth. It’s the yearly ritual of watching this awards show, just like the music awards. If I stop, then I’m old. Like, officially. I had this weird vision of a ‘younger person’ seeing that I watched it, and saying, “why are you watching this, you’re too old”, or “why are you watching MTV, no one watches that”. Either way, I’m screwed.

Will I watch it again next year?

At 13 years old, I was, just as MTV, riding high on the wave of endless possibility. I was at the crux of the teenage experience; MTV was at their peak. At 27, like MTV, I can see the walls, the boxes we’ve created for ourselves. It’s constricting. It’s time for change.

Jamie’s Brain is going to be (and has already been) inactive for a while. I need to move to a new blog service as this one isn’t doing it for me. This takes time, mostly, my manfriend’s. Also, I am starting my new blog HardRockChick. So, in the meantime, go check that out.

So I tried it again. This time I got to come up with my idea for a music festival. In 300 words. So, trying my hardest not to write an abbreviated business plan, I came up with this. Oh yeah, that’s right. I’m a finalist. How freakin’ cool is that!!!! Does this mean I’m legit now? Am I mid-wallow in my 15 minutes? God, I hope not. But this is what I have to say: Tom (MySpace guy), if you want to make a few bucks on the side by making my idea a reality, give me a call. Wait–send me a MySpace message. You won’t regret it!

I’ve been angry because I can’t go to Europe to catch NIN’s tour there. So, instead, I was able to get a small fix by attending the World Premier of their upcoming live performance DVD, Beside You In Time.

The screening took place last night at Slim’s, a small live music venue with a capacity of about 450. Doors opened at 7p- so I got there at 5 just to be sure, since it was free and all and they sold no tickets. Well, there was only a handful of people there at that point. It was cold and drizzling, and it seemed that fan dedication was a lot less than I had expected.

I stood in line with my friend, Eryn, who was there more to see me in full freak mode than anything. Some guy in front of us was going on and on and on about government conspiracies to these two poor souls. This is what happens when you have a free show in San Francisco.

We finally are let in. I get my preorder ‘coupon’ and litho right away. Initially, the guy made it sound like he was selling me the DVD for $5. Nope. I have to go to Rasputin and then I get $5 off, but whatever.

So they are playing Collected while we wait. An edited version. Yeah, you heard me. “I wanna *beep* you like an animal”…..”just a fading *beep* reminder of who I used to be”….yeah. What the *beep*? Lame. Interscope definitely didn’t seem to care much for quality control- the screens had tears in it, and apparently someone was able to get away with recording the whole thing.

Everyone is much more chill than I expected. People calmly sat down on the floor in a few rows in the front or lingered around in the back. The club was no where near capacity. Where were you, Spiralers???

And then it began. And it was beautiful. And I finally got to see what was projected on those screens that I was so pissed off about before. What was obstructing my view in the front row was actually pretty cool looking for the people in the back.

I am reminded of how awesome it is to watch Aaron North. The way he moves is just fantastic. Plus, I love his facial expressions. However, the best part of the DVD is when Trent opens his eyes. He must have been instructed to do this or something because it was being filmed, because we all know he pretty much never does this normally. The way the lighting is at that part is fantastic. So fantastic that I can’t even remember what song it happens during. I can’t wait to get it so that I can watch the extras, since Slim’s didn’t show those.

It was a fun night, getting my little NIN fix. But I left wanting more. Why does San Francisco not have an industrial music club??? I would love to be able to go somewhere that played Nine Inch Nails, Ministry, Joy Division, etc…and didn’t throw a Fergalicious in there or something. Hmmm….

Having just seen the visually stunning Pan’s Labyrinth, coupled with award show season and film festival season is making me form a drool puddle for some upcoming films. Here’s my personal list of movies I’m counting down the days for:

End of January

Inland Empire, from the brilliantly insane David Lynch. I also look forward to hearing his composer/partner/muse, Angelo Badalamenti.

The Number 23: I like the serious Jim Carey. And thrillers…

February

Factory Girl: Muses fascinate me. I watched her put on eye makeup in one of Warhol’s films for several hours.

Hannibal Rising: I already read the book which means I will probably talk shit about the movie being so different…but, alas, I will be compelled to see it. Even sans Anthony Hopkins.

March

Zodiac: A) for my gross fascination with serial killers, b) they filmed a lot right by my apartment, and c) jake gyllenhal

300: Is it possible to love a movie already just because you love the music in the trailer? This looks so good, and it comes out on my birthday!!!

April

Grindhouse: Rodriguez and Tarantino? Say no more. Except Rose McGowan w/ a machine gun leg. Now we’re talkin’.

Maybes, could be hit or miss are:

Smokin’ Aces

Black Snake Moan

I think it was actually Daily Candy that got this book into my hands. Now, I normally don’t do romance novels, and I definitely don’t read westerns…but somehow Lily Burana made made this all relevant to me. I was obsessed and read it in about 5 days- which is really quick for me. As a Texas girl with minimal experience with the rodeo scene, I found this book particulalry interesting because I treated it like ‘this could have been my life’. Had I conformed to my family’s interests, maybe this is what my life would have been like.

Regardless of your background, the book is good. It is intelligent, witty, has a strong female lead, and is very steeamy. I was not prepared for some of those parts. When I was done with it, it left me wanting more. Lily Burana has a very interesting story herself…next up for me is her non-fiction book, Strip City.

I’m From Rolling Stone is a new show on MTV about a group of kids that are competing for a writing gig with RS. It’s 30 minutes of cringe-worthy reality TV. Parallel to the TV show, they are holding weekly contests that allow entrants to turn in short assignments based on the ones seen in that week’s program.

The first week I failed to get my shit together to enter because I was working too much and was generally uninspired. The assignment was to write about your local music scene. However, I was all over assignment two: 10 questions to any living musician/band. One guess for who I picked…Anyway, I didn’t make the top 20. It was harder than I thought to pick just ten questions and write them in a way that would preface to an unknowledgable audience what I was refering to. Maybe I’ll do better with next week’s.

10 Questions for Trent Reznor of Nine Inch Nails

1. Trent Reznor is Nine Inch Nails- writer, producer, instrumentalist, singer. What do your touring musicians bring to the music?
2. You are said to be very meticulous about recreating your idea for a sound in your music. Can you describe a source that inspired a sound that you have reconstructed?
3. When you write your music, do you have a visual counterpart in mind or does it come later in the process? Do you enjoy making music videos and having your music appear in films?
4. Recently you have played two solo performances, and have discussed doing a solo acoustic tour. What is fueling this departure from your usual live performances?
5. Though ‘Closer’ and ‘Hurt’ are perhaps your most famous songs, which songs would you select as your best work?
6. People are always trying to classify your music- rock, electronica, metal…if you could create your own new genre for NIN, what would you call it and who else would be there, if anyone?
7. What do you think about the Nine Inch Nails fan club, The Spiral? How does it feel to communicate to your fans through your blog?
8. Your fans often don shirts and other items with phrases of adoration on them. Where do you think ‘Trent Reznor is God’ came from?
9. You’re an avid video gamer. Have video games influenced your work in any way?
10. What do you hope to achieve through the release of your next album, Year Zero, which you haven’t in the past?

Lots of people are hatin’ on SNL right now. It is going through a big transition period. But, as a long time fine, I still watch it religiously. Currently they are experimenting with some form of suspending the suspension of disbelief that usual comes with theater- I’m sure there is some term for it that I can’t seem to find.

The best addition to SNL has been their Digital Shorts segments. It seems to have coincided with last season’s addition of Andy Samberg. Here a few clips:

Way to be current, SNL!